#and people like you bought it up because that's all there ever was to it. no good writing. no nuance. just jason looking cool being the best

[jiminrings]

mature

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 8k

glimpse: the good thing about professing your feelings to jungkook is that it'd be over with, whether or not he likes you back — the bad thing is that he rejects you, even if you haven't confessed.

alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.

[ push n pull fic YIPPPEEEEE, fluff, angst, So Much Yearning, friends to lovers trope, jealousy, dunking on a stewpid jk (as one does), arguments that kinda hit home, redemption!! ]

notes: WE R SO BACK!!!! thank u for waiting 🫂🤍

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

You will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want to be loved.

In your defense (much to Jungkook’s offence), you want to be loved as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. He’s not pathetic in the sense that he’s hopeless, but rather pathetic in the light that you want the entirety of him (stubbornness and occasional dimness included) to rub off on you.

You want to be loved pathetically in the same way that Jungkook never computes his expenses when it comes to self-indulgence yet always calculates when it comes to actual requirements. You want to be loved as wholly by the guy who can get by one DIY dorm dinner at a time by asking for scraps from the whole floor with a grin and his hands cupped in begging.

Jungkook’s one of your friends, if not the best you’ve ever had, and it’s a miracle that you haven’t jumped at each and every available chance to confess your growing feelings for him.

You bit your tongue that one time he bought you "one of those silly blind boxes you like" on a whim from a bookstore he only went inside to in the first place because he was dying outside in the heat, only to open it for you with your eyes closed and earn you an extra rare figure.

You had to physically restrain yourself (read: clasp your hands together in front of you) when Jungkook made you swap your counterfeit, barely-holding-on kitten heels for his trustworthy slides on the way home because your research presentation prior had you pacing nervously.

Every time that he gives you your tax of whatever he ordered (which always ends up being the best variant that your friend group could possibly order for a meal or a sweet treat), you have to etch into your head clearly, with ballpoint pen, that you will never tell Jungkook how desperately you want him to love you.

Every time that he gives you a one-on-one friend outing, just as he does with everyone else from your circle of ten people and counting (you lost count because you figure that all of you are about to outgrow the long table in the library that nobody else could fill), you convince yourself to never tell him how much you want it to be just you.

You figure that you’ll tell Jungkook that you do hold a candle for him, despite not detailing the extent, in this lifetime— maybe even the next time you get a moment alone with him, but you figure you won’t do it now; now, when he’s berating you for just a tiny sacrifice you made that’s minuscule for everything he does for you and everyone else.

“You’re impossible!” he huffs, his annoyance for you being loud enough to stop his faux display of studying and gather attention from everyone else in the library who actually is. Jungkook holds up his phone for you to read, brows scrunched at your look of amusement. “Jimin told me you were lactose intolerant!”

You can’t figure how and why Jungkook and Jimin’s conversation even flitted towards you when you recall clearly that the lactose-filled meal in question was from two weeks ago. You don’t question it because you already know that even giving it a second thought would already be too pompous of you, and you don’t question either why Jungkook looks too devastated at the realization.

“I just tolerated it,” you snort, burying your nose back into your notes, missing the flash of regret in Jungkook’s features.

He doesn’t know whether he’d feel more sorry over the fact that he didn’t know you were lactose intolerant, or that you didn’t speak up at all to preserve his excitement over eating at the restaurant he wanted to try out.

“But why would you?” he sulks, completely foregoing the textbook he has opened on the same page for the last hour.

You know exactly why you did, but you’d rather not tell Jungkook now. 

You’ll tell him some other time, that much you’re sure of, but not now — not now when he’s too devastated over your tummy issues, and not now when he’s just one revelation away from chewing you out over something he has to learn from someone else.

“Your broke ass bought it so I had to,” you murmur, rolling your eyes as you rest your chin on the palm of your hand.

“Foul,” Jungkook immediately chuckles, shaking his head at your retort even if he knows you’re just kidding around (he knows you won’t hurt him like that that), finally opening his laptop.

Jungkook, your friend, finally types on his laptop, yet it’s not for the contribution that he badly needs to put in for a group project.

Instead, he opens up the Google Doc and writes in a bullet point underneath your name, the words do not give cheese acquainted with three exclamation points — along with your name, is the names of your mutual friends and Jungkook’s observations that would come in handy for an outing, a gift, or both.

Jungkook’s that good of a friend, and that’s why you’ll never tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him.

( ♡ ) 

Getting gifts for someone who has a credit card and has no inhibitions when it comes to buying whatever they want is a difficult task.

Getting Jungkook for Secret Santa this year is even harder than the last, and that was when Jin snuck five strips of his name and left more than five of you (you don’t even know how that happened) without gifts, all while he was laughing to himself after he successfully gaslit everyone into thinking that they were all drunk and made the mistake themselves.

You don’t know what to give Jungkook that he doesn’t already have. He doesn’t have a girlfriend the last time you checked and while you can’t exactly wrap yourself in ugly, recycled kraft paper (as opposed to Jimin’s dumb, all-knowing-about-your-hidden-feelings suggestion), you’d rather not drive Jungkook away, even if you don’t know either how to drive him in.

You don’t have the slightest clue to what his ‘surprise me ;)’ scribble underneath his name means and it makes you feel guilty, far more than he ever could have after Jimin’s revelation of your dietary restrictions. 

It’s not the dilemma of who would sit next to who in the large albeit crowded dining table in the cabin that you rented out, nor is it the cooking and wrapping duties that each of you are tasked with that stresses you out this holiday season.

You wish so badly that the largest champagne problem you have at the moment was wondering if your Christmas gift for your nitpicky mom and nonchalant dad back at home arrived in time. You pray that your biggest hurdle is either convincing Namjoon that his room is just cold and not haunted, or breaking off a fight between Eunwoo and Soomin because they keep fighting over whose overpriced film camera will be used for the picture by the tree, or even talking Mingyu down from smacking Jin in his sleep.

The largest champagne problem that you have, even if it’s actually between life and living said life in peace without minding your inevitable heartbreak, is worrying about Jungkook’s gift.

You hold your breath as soon as Hoseok gathers everyone into the living room, your nerves probably getting the best of you because you hear Jungkook hollering to whoever’s closest to the thermostat to adjust it because your teeth kept chattering.

You have nothing to be nervous about, you convince yourself as Jungkook steps up into the middle and awaits with wide arms, your best friend being another victim of assuming that the comically large wrapped present is his (it’s not).

Jungkook doesn’t have any expectations for you to meet, you convince yourself as he becomes even more hyper when he learns that it’s you, so much so that he takes a lap around the backyard with his hands clapping furiously.

You can’t love Jungkook any more than you do now, you realize as you see Jungkook throw his head back in glee when he opens up your gift.

It’s only a Himalayan salt lamp. It’s only a lamp that you didn’t buy for so much. It’s only a thing that Jungkook said to you in passing one time, yet he’s beyond grateful — enough for him to carry you in his arms and take another lap around the backyard.

“God, you love me soooo bad,” he lulls, teasing you mercilessly as he unceremoniously drops you so he could adore the lamp up close. “I always wanted to lick one!”

“You’re so stupid,” you mutter, rolling your eyes at his excitement over something so simple; something so insignificant in the world of thoughtful, expensive gifts.

You affectionately think that Jungkook’s stupid, yet you can’t tear your eyes away from him.

“I didn’t hear a no,” Jungkook hums with his tongue out, eyes wide and flickering between you and the lamp. “Should I do it? Should I? I’m doing-…!”

You put a spoonful of cake into his mouth instead, the whine that escapes his throat still sounding like gratefulness to your ears.

Tonight’s not the night wherein you tell Jungkook how badly you want to be loved by him — not when he’s so preoccupied with his new salt lamp that he keeps daring people to take a lick of, not when he’s the one who’s being convinced that there’s a ghost in Namjoon's room and being bullied into sleeping in.

Not when Jungkook’s being the perfect, lovable friend that he is during the holidays and every other day.

( ♡ ) 

You’re well-aware that Jungkook’s a catch.

You know that he’s a catch and he’ll never live it down, and neither can you.

You’re very painfully aware that Jungkook’s a catch because you’re reminded of it every single day whenever you’re with your friends. You know that atleast two of them were integrated into the group in the first place because they liked Jungkook, and that doesn’t really bother you (more than it should, atleast) anymore. 

Sora’s crush formed out of boredom on Jungkook disappeared as soon as she got a boyfriend, but you understand why her gaze lingered on him in the first place.

Eunji’s crush on Jungkook already dissipated the moment she learned about his GPA, but you get why she had been attracted to his charm anyway.

You know that he’s a catch and that he’s not solely yours either, and the latter makes you humble.

“There’s flowers on your desk again,” you point out, the arrangement irking you for more reasons than one. “Why do you have to be so popular and handsome.. and lovable,” you mumble, the tail end of your mini rant barely being heard by Jungkook because he's too busy admiring his gift.

“What’s that now?” Jin piped up, eyebrows furrowed upon picking up your angry muttering. He's beyond confused, maybe just as much as you are, when you just snarl at him for his unintentional use of supersonic hearing.

“And why do I have to sit next to you even if I have allergies,” you redirect your attention to Jungkook who has to sweep the flowers to a beaten-up paper bag for safekeeping, the item in his backpack being the most used object for all of the admiration towards him.

“Because you’re the best-est friend ever,” he rolls his eyes, the faux pout on his lips surprisingly softening you instead of the opposite. “And maybe I’m the worst-est one to keep putting you through this.”

“You sound so stupid,” you reply automatically, crossing your arms and keeping them there. “But you’re right,” you exhale through your nose, conceding your defeat over willingly letting him put you through this, carrying the blame by yourself.

Jungkook doesn’t only act like this with you anyway. There’s no special treatment, there’s no false hopes being promised — it’s just you genuinely happening to fall for him.

“Come on, just tolerate it! Pinch your nose or something!”

“Why should I? Find another seatmate,” you sulk, making a point to angle your back away from him and towards Jin who’s at your right, doing his best at holding in a laugh over how ridiculous the both of you look.

“Obviously you’re the one with the latest phone so you have to take pictures of me with the flowers!” Jungkook whines, punctuating his sentence with a hand on his hip. He’s sulking because you’re sulking, and you’ve never hated him more at the moment. “Why else would I force you to sit with me?”

Jungkook’s stupid, and so are you, so you’d rather not tell him how desperately you want to be loved by him today.

( ♡ ) 

In all fairness, you thought you would lose nothing.

You thought you would lose nothing because in the first place, you barely expected anything out of Jungkook. Liking him didn’t mean that you were indebted to him, and liking you back isn’t something that he owed to you either.

You weren’t expecting Jungkook to fall on his knees and say something stupid to hint at his mutual love for you (although you did think about it a couple of times), but you atleast expected a little bit of respect from him to try and see the strength it took you to even confess.

You planned it perfectly, even taking a page off his book and making a whole word document for it wherein you spent days typing whatever crossed your mind throughout the day and erasing what seemed the most impossible throughout the night. 

In your word document, you and Jungkook would be out in the snow, skating in an outdoor rink even if neither of you know how to. You figure that you won’t attempt to drag (read: hobble with) him to the middle of the ice because in case he doesn’t like you back, the waddle back to the exit wouldn’t be as awkward; if Jungkook does like you back, you’ll still be hobbling to the exit, albeit happily.

In your word document, there’s a spine of a script that you would say when the day comes. You’ll skim along the lines of how you’ve never been so enamored with someone in your entire life (with the internal note that you’ll dial it back a bit if his expression turns sour), of how bright he makes your days for you, and how he doesn’t have to be obligated to like you back.

In your word document, you’re set. You’ve planned a foolproof blueprint of what would turn out, whether or not Jungkook is set on loving you the way you desperately want to be —

Except now, Jungkook completely undoes everything you’ve ever worked for.

Now, he looks at you with a glint in his eye that looks more apologetic than it is endearing. You don’t even know what led to your heartbreak exactly because one minute, you were just studying, and by the next, Jungkook’s already letting you down even if you hadn’t had the chance to rise.

You swear on your life that you weren’t giving any signals at all that you were actually about to confess. You were only silent, refusing to talk to him because you were too stressed over your task and that you were scared you would burst into tears if you tried mouthing the formula out loud, yet Jungkook mistakes it for your love.

Whatever you do on a daily basis, whatever you do based on your nature, Jungkook mistakes it for a confession that he wasn’t even supposed to hear until the end of the week.

He wasn’t wrong about the fact that you love him — what he’s wrong about is his assumption that your silence around him when it’s just the two of you, right now while you lose your mind over an assignment as you’re dressed in last week’s sweater and last semester’s horror, is your confession.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jungkook winces, gently patting you on the shoulder as you’re yet to digest his rejection. “But I just don’t think we’ll work out.”

( ♡ ) 

You theorized that getting over Jungkook would be fairly easy on the chance that he rejects you after your confession.

You figure that Jungkook himself as a concept would be drastically difficult to move on from because he was just so lovable. He doesn’t know how to read a room and it’s one of his better quirks when you’re worrying over nothing. He doesn’t know much about knowing when to let up, and it comes in clutch when he’s pushing you to wholeheartedly do an assignment even if you’re already burnt out from crying.

Jungkook, as a concept, is indestructible. He’s the everyday variant of the goodness that some frat guys possess occasionally. He’s the realistic, attainable version of a main lead in a manhwa that’s only perfect 1/4 into the plot. 

He’s the manifestation of every good deed a stranger has done for you, except he’s someone you know with your heart and not just someone you could sketch from memory. 

With that, you also figured that moving on from Jungkook can’t be that hard because he was too out of reach despite being in the same friend group as you. Surely, it wouldn’t be so catastrophically hard to move on from a guy who just gasps for air every five minutes when he’s in charge of cooking in the BBQ hangout (instead of using the exhaust like a normal person), or from a guy who thinks citing references for a paper is only a suggestion.

The funny thing about it all is that you never actually confessed to Jungkook.

Actually (and contrary to the assumptions of the other friends you have from your circle), you’ve never said it to his face that you do have a crush on him. You’re ultimately known to be the friendliest person to ever walk the campus, and while not the most confrontational, they atleast expected for you to confess to Jungkook in your own way.

What actually happened was that Jungkook read through you — he does happen to be right about your feelings for him! He’s the second friendliest person right beneath you, and so the way he rejected you should never sting this much.

Jungkook thought it out meticulously. He read into the way you spent extra attention listening to him with your eyes practically gleaming. He read into the way you’d lag back behind him and hold him by his wrist whenever you were all crossing the street. Hell, he even read into the way you would take a shot at opening the extremely tight water bottle from the vending machine before everyone else.

The funny, tragic thing about it is that whilst Jungkook wasn’t wrong about pinpointing your feelings for him — you never confessed.

Jeon Jungkook, the second, ultimate friendliest man that your university has ever known, rejected you without even hearing the actual words from you.

He’s turned his back on you even before you could reach him, and the realization sinks in you unsettlingly. You never expected for him to like you back because it would be unfair of you, and you knew that; what just happened to hurt you most was that Jungkook didn’t even think twice.

He hadn’t given you the chance to pour your heart out at the very least.

He hadn’t even given you the space to breathe right after the rejection, because he skips and puts a smile on before winking, telling you that he’ll never speak of it again because you must probably be embarrassed.

The funniest thing about it all is that you aren’t embarrassed — you’re actually devastated about it.

It’s an odd event for Jungkook to feel lonely because with such a big friend group, he never thought he’d feel a little empty despite literally rubbing elbows in a circular table. He never thought he’d come to be a little annoyed at Jimin and his routine, playful, borderline offensive banter he’d always have with you at the top of the morning, and he never thought he’d even be more annoyed over the absence of it.

There’s one less laugh in the circle. One less bag strewn underneath the table, one less coffee order written on the notes app, and one less person to look for when hanging out.

You’re missing from the friend group, and oddly enough, Jungkook seems to be the most devastated about it.

“Why is Y/N not here?” he asks in the middle of Jin retelling his drunken fishing story, grabbing the attention of everyone in the table and maybe just about everyone else’s in the common area with the way his voice is frantic. “And why is she there with the new kid instead?”

Everyone flits through separate conversations after Jungkook’s interruption, some even wincing to themselves because although they know about your admiration for the guy and not your confession-that-wasn’t-one, they figure that nothing good could come out of Jungkook sucker-punching the new kid in his head.

“I don’t know, man. Buddy system, maybe?” Jin shrugs, stealing his food because it was obvious that Jungkook’s attention is everywhere but himself and the table.

Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms tightly to the point that even he feels a little suffocated. His entire face is crumpled with hurt, eyebrows furrowed out of frustration when you still aren’t looking at him; when you’re still not looking at him with confusion in your eyes, silently telling him off for glaring.

“Buddy system? We’re in uni. Who the fuck would bully that guy?”

“By the looks of it, probably you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he huffs, refusing to unclench his fists on his thighs.

“Well, what’s it to you that Y/N’s hanging out with someone new? What are you so heated for?” Jin elaborates, eyes flitting to you again.

Jungkook could only glare at you.

“What are you so nosy for?” he asks defensively, leaning back on his chair in a faux display of relaxation when all he wants to do is to remove the stupid smile on the guy’s face as he watches you talk.

Unlike Jungkook, Yoongi’s not stupid at all — in fact, he’s been vigilantly aware of Jungkook’s glare on the side of his face ever since you sat in front of him.

Yoongi’s not stupid, so he angles himself in a way that Jungkook gets to see him more. He doesn’t know the guy personally, but he does know of him and his “charm” that seems to make everyone go nuts for him. 

If looks could kill, then Yoongi would’ve already had mourners at his feet, but if provocation could posion, then Jungkook would already be frothing at the mouth.

The thing is, Yoongi doesn’t even know about your admiration nor your foiled confession to Jungkook. The latter hasn’t even done anything personally to him. 

All he knows is that you’re in a big friend group and that you chose to sit with him, your friend whom you share a couple of advanced classes with but not a friend-friend like Jungkook is, and that you’re very easy on the eyes and admirable yourself if he thinks about it (he doesn’t need much time to ponder over it) — and, that he doesn’t really like being glared at.

“No really, I insist!” he laughs, pulling out his handwritten reviewer from a backpack with a grin. “I don’t know anybody else who likes making reviewers anymore by hand, so really, you’re just perfect to get them.”

“But you worked so hard on them,” you gasp, eyes already widening in both surprise and awe at the thick stack of papers in front of you. Yoongi’s handwriting and formatting are perfect; there’s no unnecessary calligraphy, the vividness of the highlighter is just right, and there’s even sticky notes at the bottom for additional details and references you could cross-check. “I.. I don’t want you to feel that I’m taking advantage-…”

“But I offered! You didn’t ask for reviewers from me shamelessly like every other opportunist does,” Yoongi laughs, throwing his head back as he slides the papers closer to you. “I’d be a really shitty senior not to give you any help. If anything, I think you deserve even better than-…”

Jungkook can’t resist.

Jungkook can’t take any more of watching you and Yoongi push and pull over whatever topic he can’t hear nor force Jin to eavesdrop on. He can’t take another second of seeing you be so happy talking to a guy that he doesn’t know, so much so that he comes up to you without a second thought.

“Hey,” he greets, his body only turned to you, completely ignoring Yoongi and blocking him off from your sight. “You didn’t order any coffee.”

You angle your body slightly to excuse yourself, except Jungkook conveniently happens to mirror your every move, confusing you even more. “Oh, I wasn’t feeling like it,” you trail, looking up at him in confusion while Yoongi could see right through him.

“Really?” Jungkook replies, the smile on his face being far from amused, eyes narrowed as he tries to catch up with the own annoyance that he harbors. “Because I’m seeing two coffees right now, and one’s in front of you, so…” he trails, shrugging his shoulders exaggeratedly.

Jungkook’s jaw is still clenched, along with his fists by his sides. He’s standing tall between you and Yoongi with his shoulders squared and his face steeled, the immovable forces that are him and the unnamed pit in his stomach starting to garner attention.

Namjoon has his phone out. 

Hoseok only has one cheek remaining on the seat because he’s ready to stand up and collect bets. 

You’re still sitting, mostly confused, when you realize the attention that’s starting to build towards the three of you.

“Yes, Jungkook. Great observation,” you snicker, the discreet roll of your eyes making him take offense.

“Oh okay, I see. So you were lying by saying that you weren’t feeling it, and I don’t get the hold-up of you-…”

“What did you come here for now, Jungkook?” you angrily whisper, keeping your head down as you retain your gaze on him and lightly tap at the table to indicate to Yoongi for the both of you to move. “It’s a little far-fetched for you to come all over here to pick a fight about coffee.”

Jungkook huffs, turning his head back to Yoongi behind him because he most definitely saw your signal. The lazy, amused gaze of Yoongi is what sets him off even further, the anger in his eyes unmistakable, except you recognize it for only what it is and not jealousy, because Jungkook doesn’t see you like that.

Or atleast that’s what the both of you assume.

Jungkook, your best friend, scoffs loudly.

“You sound so defensive right now.”

( ♡ ) 

You don’t respond much to Jungkook’s calls. 

As a matter of fact, you don’t respond much to Jungkook at all.

You don’t show up whenever he’s present, meaning that you’re only magically available whenever there’s half of your friend group at the most because if there’s more, then the search for the missing members would ensue, then you’d end up squished in a long table next to Jungkook again.

It’s very much like him to form grudges, yet he can’t even tell if he’s capable of having one towards you. Jungkook, with all his chest and afflictions, wants so badly to hate you because you’ve been blowing him off ever since he literally and physically came between you and Yoongi.

He apologized to you for that (and not to Yoongi because he didn’t really matter to him at all), and he doesn’t know the answer for it yet because his messages still remain unread. He’s enlisted the help of your mutual friends on various occasions by trying to get them to give all his little treats for you, yet you refuse them as soon as you catch wind that it’s from Jungkook.

He even tried studying for real in the library in hopes that reverse psychology (he thinks that’s what it’s called) would work and that thinking he doesn’t want you to come would make you do the opposite, yet it still doesn’t work. Jungkook’s already mad that he studied for nothing (he’s more interested in getting you to notice him than to actually learn), but he becomes even more heated to realize that your anger for him is just directed at him alone.

You still talk to your best friends, with the exception of him, and Jungkook has never been more envious of people who are apparently of the same status as him.

Jungkook wants you to drag him like you drag Sora to the nail salon and have you whisper at his ear to tell the nail tech not to cut your cuticles because you’ve been afraid of getting them done since that 1/34th part of a medical drama episode you watched on your phone.

Jungkook wants you to complain to him like you complain to Namjoon when you’re frustrated with a professor whom you’re convinced is only critical to you and no one else, later making him promise not to tell anyone else from your friend group because they like said professor.

Jungkook wants you to run to him as you always did, just because you feel like it. He wants to sit in silence with you again and put his hand on your knee when you’re in the verge of tears just looking at your schedule for the week.

He wants to stand guard again outside the bathroom door of the expensive coffee shop because it’s either the lock is broken or because Namjoon's managed to instill in you the existence of ghosts in cold spots.

He wants to be the Jungkook like you’ve always known, again, because it seems like you’ve forgotten him completely. You have the Yoongi now, it seems like — the smarter, more composed, and more charismatic variant of him that he wants to get rid of because Jungkook never predicted the existence of him.

Even more, Jungkook didn’t even entertain the concept of him being replaced because it was always the two of you together, even in a sea of friends. 

He’s your best friend, your confidant even, but nothing more — all Jungkook feels is that he’s even less than the status the both of you are assigned to be. 

He’s angry and sad and disappointed all at the same time because he thought he had almost lost you since he rejected your confession. You were fine; you were as fine as you could be for someone rejected when it comes to yearning to be his, and yet the moment you let Yoongi in, Jungkook feels as if you threw everything the both of you had just for him.

“Just so you know, student-teacher relationships are illegal,” he corners you one morning in your dorm, two godforsaken weeks after chasing you around the campus yet turning up empty.

“What the fuck are you on about?” you immediately scrunch your nose at him, the accusation he throws at you being too farfetched to the point that you don’t even think of shutting the door at him, ignoring Eunji’s betrayal for you by pretending to come over.

“What am I on about?” Jungkook exasperates, the scoff that leaves him making you feel small in front of him. “You’re literally the one who’s getting chummy with fucking Yoongi of all people!"

"Yoongi's a teaching assistant! He's our senior! Do you not know that?"

"Do I look like I'm interested in any other people outside of our circle?" he retorts, lips turned up in a snarl. Jungkook provokes you with a sarcastic glare, the look on his face enough to make you throw your head back in irritation.

"Come on, even Jin and Jimin are friends with Yoongi and-..."

"This is not about them!" 

"But you just-..." you stop as soon Jungkook interrupts you, losing your gaze on him for a single second to close your door and when you look back, you find that he’s already comfortable being vindictive on your bed, his arms crossed and his back straight.

"Also, teacher and teaching assistant both have the word teach so it's literally still illegal," he narrows his eyes sarcastically, the tone to his voice unclear despite his words suggesting otherwise. "You look so stupid right now."

"Jungkook can you stop?!" you burst, your temples stinging at the back and forth that Jungkook’s thrown the both of you in. “What the hell is going on with you?"

Jungkook had sworn to himself up and down that he has so much stuff to pick with you. He knows he has so much baggage to unpack and how much shit he has to bring up, even if it’s only been two weeks with you. He’s partly relieved that you’re in front of him and you still haven’t fled, yet a large part of him is beyond frustrated with you because you don’t even look like as if your time apart has taken a toll on you.

Between the two of you, it’s only Jungkook who looks like his distraught has manned him completely beyond surrender. Even coming to see you by hatching a plan with a hesitant friend is something he considers an act beyond surrender — whatever the space is between surrender and demand is where Jungkook lies with you.

"No, what's going on with you!” he argues, standing to his feet to come face-to-face with you. “You can't just spin this around when I've done nothing but be a good friend to you!"

"You think I'm not being a good friend to you just because I don't spend every single minute attached to you? I can still hang out outside of our friend group without being-..."

"This is not about our friend group!" Jungkook emphasizes once again, the tell-tale sting of tears behind his eyes coming up because he feels as if you can’t hear him no matter how much he repeats himself. ”This is about us and how you abandoned me ever since I rejected you!"

"I didn't abandon you, Jungkook!" you spit, pushing at his chest lightly with your finger to get him to back up from your face yet he refuses to. He’s still insistent at staring you down with his jaw clenched, eyes wide and unblinking because he knows that if he moves even just a millimeter askew, he’d cry. “You didn't even give me the chance to confess to you! You rejected me without even hearing me out. Do you think I would still be able to talk to you, face to face like how you want so badly, as if nothing happened?"

"The answer would've been the same even if you confessed,” he grits with his chest heavy, not at the way he keeps holding his breath in order not to break down in front of you, but because you look at him with so much disdain that it makes him want to puke.

"Do you not think I know that?" you laugh humorlessly, gnawing on your bottom lip as you don’t drop his gaze. “Do you think I didn't prepare for that possibility? I knew what could've happened if I confessed and I'd still be okay with it, Jungkook!" you raise your voice, throat already giving out at the slightest pressure because you know you lost the fight ever since you let him in. ”What I'm not okay with is that you didn't even give me the chance.”

It’s evil, really, with the way no amount of self-pity could ever pull you from the grave you’ve dug up. You went for Jungkook, carrying all grief you knew you were bound to feel, and yet you still feel unprepared. You still feel unworthy even moping for someone like Jungkook because not even his rejection, nor anyone else’s acceptance of your admiration by some sort of miracle, is enough to make you feel like you’d be missed.

Your two weeks without Jungkook is your rehearsal for the two months, then two years, then two forevers eventually without him by your side. You had still been able to live by yourself and with your friends, excluding him, and you thought you were fine because it feels as if nothing had changed.

You thought you were fine until Jungkook gets in your face to tell you that it’s not, and all over again, you’re reminded of how desperately you want to be loved by him to the point that you’d rather drown in your own pity to try and preserve whatever’s left of you.

"I told you the answer would-..."

"Shut up!" you cry, steeling your nerves when you realize that Jungkook’s angrily crying in front of you, wiping at his eyes hastily. ”For the love of god, shut up!"

Jungkook stays quiet, not because you told him to, but because nothing good comes to mind when he realizes that you’re crying because of him.

"See? You don't even get where I'm coming from because you're not even giving me the chance to explain myself without making it all about you,” you sob, finally pushing him away, to which he lets you. "That's the problem with you, Jungkook. You're too self-involved."

"Not true," Jungkook whispers, shaking his head earnestly even if he feels the stupidest he has ever did in his life in front of you.

He follows your steps out of routine even if his brain had convinced his system that he hates you just seconds ago, arms instinctively trying to crowd you when you almost trip on the flooring on your way to the coat rack.

"Since you keep insisting that I abandoned you," you chuckle dryly before grabbing your jacket, turning your back on Jungkook and on your own space, which had just been the default hangout place of the both of you for the longest time, in pursuit of your own quiet without him. "Let me follow through."

Jungkook doesn’t want to tell you how desperately he wants you to want him again, to love him as you already did, and neither do you.

( ♡ ) 

The perks of having a big friend group of that the absence of several members wouldn’t make that much of a difference when it comes to hanging out. It would still sustain itself without a few extra voices joining in on the chatter watching movies and the bullying when it comes to a forgotten birthday greeting here and there.

The downside of being in one, is that said big friend group doesn’t matter at all to Jungkook when you’re not in it.

The lengths that your friend (read: a word that Jungkook’s come to abhor) has went through since your fight at your dorm are basically incomprehensible because he’s fully involved himself.

He’s pining after you pathetically, just like how you had always dreamed of, yet seeing him take turn after turn just trying to gain your forgiveness for something you’ve always pitied yourself for makes you feel guilty.

In Jungkook’s defense, he wants to be forgiven and loved (again) as desperately as he acts on an everyday basis. Not only is e pathetic in the sense that he’s hopeless, but also pathetic in the light that he wants the entirety of you (stubbornness and occasional sharpness included) to rub off on him.

“I know I’m stupid. I-I.. I know that I was unfair for not even letting you confess your feelings because I felt like dying when you started to ignore me,” he mumbles to your bedsheets, his legs crossed on the ground and his head muffled by the fabric because he doesn’t even want to sit next to you in fear of you revoking his chance to apologize in person, again, as if that’s not what he had been doing the past weeks. “Y/N, you don’t deserve someone as stupid as me and I hate it so, so bad.”

The sound of Jungkook apologizing to you has already been repeated enough to the point you’ve learned when to tune him out, but with the way his heart precedes his tone this time, you stop folding your clothes in favor of Jungkook who’s just two seconds away from passing out on your bed by fabric conditioner-bathed quilt-induced suffocation, to which he couldn’t pass up on because it was your scent and he missed hugging you.

“I can’t catch up with you on anything that you’re talking about with Yoongi. The only times I open a book are when I want to look at you but I don’t want you to see me. I can’t— I can barely even talk to you without feeling like I’m beneath you,” he admits lowly, the truth of his rejection finally springing up a little too much, and almost a little too late. “I thought, stupidly, that we wouldn’t work because you deserve someone better.”

“I don’t need you to catch up with me, Jungkook,” you murmur, lightly slapping his cheeks because he looks sleepy from all the sniffing he’s done on your quilt, but really, his eyes are only narrowed into slits because he feels like he’s about to cry. Again.

“But I need to, b-because when we run out of things to talk about that you’re willingly to dumb down to my level, what else could we catch up on?” 

“You’re not stupid. I just say-…”

“No. Don’t make excuses for me,” he laughs lightly, still sat on your carpet obediently like a dog because he doesn’t want to push your boundaries. “I’m beneath you and I didn’t want to drag you down with me because I.. I didn’t feel that you deserve me,” he confesses. “But I want you so badly, Y/N. You have no idea.”

Jungkook wants you so badly, that in your insistence of self-pity, it was his self-preservation that led him to cry by himself when you finally left the library after not-confessing to him.

He wants you so badly, that in his fit of self-preservation disguised into stubbornness, he had tamped down his desperation for you.

“I want to catch up with you, not you to slow down for me,” Jungkook rests his chin on your thigh, his wide, pleading eyes looking up at you. “I’m so sorry, my baby. I’m so, so, so sorry for being stupid enough to let you go the first time,” he tilts his head, resting his cheek on your awaiting hand. “Please. I’m just begging you to slow down for me this one time,” Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, nudging your hand gently with his cheek. “Please let me look stupid trying to earn you.”

Jungkook, without fail, tells you how desperately he wants to be loved by you.

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

I literally grew up below the poverty line. My income, as soon as I had a job, went to supplement the household, and with a disabled father my income was the secondary income. We were still below the poverty line. "New" was a novel concept to me and my siblings, because nothing we ever got was new.

I have been blessed with opportunity, I got a full time job, a husband with a stable income, and a third income via my MIL. We just bought a condo, and we were able to spend some money renovating (out of necessity, rather than desire), but we are still firmly lower class. All three of our cars were used when purchased. Mine is 20 years old, and I'm at least the third owner. I'm currently ignoring my check engine light because I cannot afford the repairs I know my car needs. We are basically going to be scraping to pay the mortgage and our bills for the next several months while we attempt to build up a savings again, but more likely than not we're going to be back to living paycheck to paycheck for a while, especially since I can no longer work full time because of my declining health.

The life I live is one singular step up from the poverty I was raised in. When I was a kid, we juggled which bills we'd pay that month. As an adult, I'm using every single penny I have to pay my bills, and even then sometimes I miss a payment on something because I have to wait for my next check to get deposited.

I am poor. I am lower class. Unless something drastic happens in my life, I will always be lower class. This is not a luxury lifestyle by any means. If you try to tell me how "good" I have it because my husband and I, as well as my MIL, have a three income household and can pay the bills, I will eat you. I've lived the lowest of the low, and this is barely above that.

I would (figuratively) kill for a middle class lifestyle. I would love to be able to pay off all my bills and debt and have the automatic payments come out without me obsessing about it it'll put me in the red. I would love to be able to buy books whenever I want them, and not think twice about telling my husband we need to buy another book shelf to hold them. I would love to be able to quit my job and live solely off my husband's income so I can be the house spouse I want to be. I would love to turn my long weekend birthday trip to the beach/fave used book store into a week long adventure, and not have to use the cheapest motel in the area for two nights. I would love to have my hobbies be hobbies and not something I need to monetize in order to make ends meet. I would love to be able to go out to dinner and a movie once a month with my husband, cover the bill for my friends at lunch, buy a new laptop when I need one instead of praying my decade old computer pulls through just a little bit longer. Being able to bring my car to the shop when needed and not having to scrape to pay the mechanic would be amazing. Any of that would put me at *maybe* lower middle class. Not even firmly middle class, lower middle class.

I am not middle class, and I am not your enemy. People who are middle class are not your enemy. People living a life of luxury as celebrities aren't even your enemy. It's the billionaires who profit off of your labor without regard for the fact that you're a human being who deserves to live that are your enemy. Eat the fucking rich.

Ive noticed recently that my generation has... no concept of what the various economic classes actually are anymore. I talk to my friends and they genuinely say things like "at least i can afford a middle class lifestyle with this job because i dont need a roommate for my one bedroom apartment" and its like... oughh

You guys, middle class doesnt mean "a stable enough rented roof over your head," it means "a house you bought, a nice car or two, the ability to support a family, and take days off and vacations every year with income to spare for retirement savings and rainy days." If all you have is a rented apartment without a roommate and a used car, you're lower class. That's lower class.

And i cant help but wonder if this is why you get kids on tumblr lumping in doctors and actors into their "eat the rich" rhetoric: economic amnesia has blinded you to what the class divides actually are. The real middle class lifestyle has become so unattainable within a system that relies upon its existence that theyve convinced you that those who can still reach it are the elites while your extreme couponing to afford your groceries is the new normal.

[disgustingtwitches]

A Rose in Harlem

New York is supposed to be the city where people vanish into the chaos, but somehow, Simon Riley has found his way into your life. He’s managed to slip past your defenses, filling a void you didn’t realize was there. But when the closeness starts to feel too real, you pull back, desperate to hide your vulnerability. Simon, however, has already bared his own scars and expects you to do the same. Suddenly, your life feels like a romcom you never signed up for, starring the one man who’s impossible to ignore.

Long live the rose that grew from concrete, when no one else ever cared.

Masterlist

PART 4

The Sweetest Taboo

So, you're sleeping with your neighbor. This is fine. Totally fine. You're two consenting adults; no one needs to know. Except Simon seems to disagree.

You wouldn’t peg him as the "kiss and tell" type, but much to your duress, Simon is unapologetically the "kiss and show" type.

At the grocery store, he casually shows up at the same time, grabbing your bags like it’s second nature and walking you home. The stares from the neighbors make your face burn.

Morning run-ins in the foyer have evolved into something dangerously inappropriate. He refuses to let you leave without a kiss. Sometimes it’s just a fleeting brush of lips; other times, it’s deeper, lingering, and edging into the territory of lewd, making you shove his face away.

Then there’s the hoodie. One of his oversized ones, soft and smelling faintly of him. He bullied you into wearing it. You caved, of course, but it stays hidden in the back of your drawer when Ishta comes around—there’s no way you’re dealing with opening that can of worms.

It’s not just the overt gestures, though. It’s the way he lingers too long at your door after you’ve kissed him goodnight. Watches you through the fire escape, like he has every right to. Sitting there with his legs sprawled, a cigarette lazily dangling between his fingers, he makes no attempt to hide it.

You tried to put an end to that one. Bought curtains on a whim, feeling smug about the newfound privacy they’d grant you. But they mysteriously disappeared the day after you installed them—conveniently after you’d gone to work.

Simon played dumb when you confronted him, leaning casually against his doorframe.

“Dunno what you’re talking about, angel. Someone breaking in while you’re away? Maybe I should stick around your place and keep watch.”

His grin was infuriatingly smug, as it usually is.

It’s all becoming a little too real, a little too… loud. And yet, when you’re pressed up against him in the quiet of your apartment, his hands framing your face like you’re the only thing worth holding onto, you almost forget about his wrongdoings.

***

“Brought out the good shit tonight.”

Ishta grins, popping open a bottle of prosecco—the cheap, overly sweet kind she adores. You hold back the urge to grimace as she pours, passing you a glass.

“What's the occasion?”

“Me and Mr.Scottsman are official!”

She squeals lifting her glass high. You mimic the gesture, the clink of glass on glass ringing lightly through the room.

“Wow, it's so official you still won't tell me his name.”

You quip, rolling your eyes as you take a cautious sip. The sweetness of the wine hits immediately, and you fight the reflex to wince.

“John. Johnny.”

She sighs dreamily, hearts in her eyes.

“I call him Johnny because John is way too serious for my liking.”

You raise a brow at her,

"Sounds like you’ve got it bad, Ishta.”

She doesn’t deny it, swirling the prosecco in her glass like it’s some romantic prop, her grin widening.

"Oh, you have no idea. He’s got this laugh—it’s ridiculous—and he can’t make tea to save his life. But, ugh, he’s perfect."

You shake your head, taking another begrudging sip of the prosecco, already bracing yourself for what’s sure to be a night of gushing anecdotes about Johnny.

“Perfect,”

You echo with a laugh, setting your glass down.

“You’ve been together for how long now? A month?”

“Three weeks,”

Ishta corrects.

“But when you know, you know.”

You snort, leaning back against the arm of the couch.

“Yeah, sure. You’re gonna marry this man, huh?”

“Don’t tempt me,”

She says, her grin widening.

“He’s already invited to meet his family. Can you believe it? His family, and I’m just over here trying to not come off as a complete lunatic.”

“Well, you’re failing spectacularly.”

You tease.

She throws a pillow at you, laughing.

“Says the one who’s been mysteriously glowing these past few weeks. Care to spill why?”

You freeze for half a second, a sip of prosecco poised at your lips.

“Glowing? What are you even talking about?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me,”

Ishta says, narrowing her eyes.

“You’re hiding something. Someone.”

You feign indifference, shrugging.

“Maybe I’ve just been using better skincare.”

“Bullshit. Spill. Who is it?”

She leans forward, her gaze piercing.

There’s no way you’re telling her. Not about Simon. Not about the fire escape. Not about the way his hands feel against your skin or the things he whispers in the dark.

“No one,”

You say firmly, hoping she buys it.

“And stop projecting your ridiculous love life onto me.”

Ishta squints at you, unconvinced.

“Uh-huh. Sure. For now, you’re off the hook. But mark my words,”

She wags a finger at you.

“I’ll figure it out.”

You laugh nervously, downing the rest of your drink.

You’re grateful for how easily distracted Ishta can be, her attention now fully locked onto the trashy dating show the two of you watch every Thursday. It’s a routine you’d both adopted more for the chance to mock strangers' poor life choices than for any genuine investment in the drama.

Occasionally, she’ll pipe up, her voice dreamy as she recounts the latest romantic gesture from Johnny, her “Mr. Scotsman." She compares him to the guys on TV, and each time, she insists that Johnny does it better. You can almost hear the wistful sigh in her voice as she talks about how much she adores him.

You smile at her, teasing lightly,

“Gonna end up as one of those military wives?”

Ishta laughs, a genuine, carefree sound that rings out in the space between you. She shrugs with mock indifference, but there’s a spark in her eyes.

"Maybe. I mean, he’s a loverboy under all that wildness, but yeah… I’d say I’ve got it bad.”

You smirk at her, shaking your head.

"You’re hopeless."

"And you’re one to talk,”

She fires back, leveling you with a knowing look.

“Sexy British neighbor still got you tied up in knots?”

You scoff, taking a sip of your drink to stall. The wine’s still too sweet, sticking to your tongue, but you focus on the tang that lingers at the edges.

“I’m not ‘tied up’ in anything. Haven't even spoken to him since the noise complaint situation.”

“Riiight.”

She side-eyes you, unconvinced.

“Something tells me that's not entirely true. You get this weird look on your face every time I bring him up.”

You try to keep a straight face.

“Maybe you’re reading too much into things.”

“Uh-huh.”

She leans back, crossing her arms.

“One of these days, I'll catch you slipping.”

You roll your eyes, desperate to redirect her attention.

“I think you’ve had too much wine.”

“Or not enough,”

She shoots back, taking another sip with a knowing smirk. She hums, like she just remembered something important.

“I forgot to tell you, Johnny invited you to come with me to meet his family.”

You make a face of confusion.

“Me? Why?”

“I talk about you a lot, believe it or not you are one of the most important people in my life.”

The statement takes you back a bit, makes you feel a twinge of guilt lying to her.

“But his family?”

“Well…”

She tilts her head, searching for the right words.

“They’re not exactly blood relatives. They’re his squad, I think that’s the term he uses. He trusts them with his life, so he sees them as family—or the closest thing to it. Something like that.”

It’s her turn to hesitate, her fingers absently trailing the stem of her wine glass.

“Anyway, he thought you might want to come along. Besides,” She adds with a grin, peeking up again.

“It'll be fun. Think about it! Drinks, charming military men, and me as your entertainment. What more could you want?”

With Simon in your life, you think to yourself, you find yourself wanting for nothing lately—except maybe a little less suffocating attention.

“Yeah, what more could I want.”

You say aloud, masking the weight of your thoughts with a light laugh.

Ishta beams at your answer,

“That’s the spirit! You’ll see—it’ll be good for you. And hey, if nothing else, you can help me judge Johnny’s friends. Who knows, maybe one of them is a secret disaster like the guys on this show.”

The conversation shifts back to the TV, her playful commentary dragging you out of your head. But even as you nod along, your mind is already working on an escape plan.

You’re just gonna text her some excuse when the day comes. She’ll understand. Probably.

***

“How can you breathe in these?”

You groan, tugging at the waistband of Ishta’s skin-tight leather pants as she twists and wiggles, trying to pull them up.

“Breathing isn’t a priority here.”

She huffs, planting her hands on her hips and giving a final shimmy.

“Looking good is. Besides,”

She admires herself in the mirror.

“Johnny will love it.”

“Yeah, he probably cares more about how easy they’ll be to take off, Ishta.”

She grins, running her hands down the smooth fabric.

“Yeah. My man, the most efficient guy I know.”

You laugh, shaking your head as she strikes a dramatic pose.

“Efficiency—truly the cornerstone of romance.”

“Don’t knock it,”

She quips, spinning around to face you.

“He’s got it down to an art. Makes him a great lover.”

“Ishta.”

“I mean seriously, when I'm running late he knows exactly what to-”

“Ishta!”

“What? Someone has to get laid here, and it sure isn't you!”

You groan in protest, grabbing a throw pillow and launching it at her. She ducks, her laughter ringing out as she returns to inspecting her reflection in the mirror, twisting to check out the back of her pants.

“I think my butt’s getting bigger.”

She declares, completely unfazed.

“Aren’t we running late?”

You ask, exasperated.

“We’re fine. He’s getting us an Uber.”

She replies, adjusting the waistband of her pants with a smug little smile.

“To Brooklyn? Ouuu, big money.”

You tease, rolling your eyes as you grab your bag.

She grins, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“I just got him trained right. I'll show you how to do it when you get your own man. Or woman. Or anyone.”

Before you get to have your say her phone dings, and she grabs her keys.

"C’mon, Uber’s here."

You give her one last look before following her out the door, ready for whatever insanity lies ahead.

***

The bar you stand outside of is dingy and small, a stark contrast to the sleek black SUV Johnny arranged for Ishta and you. You raise an eyebrow, already feeling out of place.

“Are you sure this is the place?”

You ask, rocking side to side in your heels, feet already hurting.

“Too good for it?”

Ishta teases.

“No, just… aren’t we a little overdressed?”

You reply, glancing down at your outfit. Her red-bottoms are going to get ruined by the sticky floors, and your top is way too low-cut for a place like this.

Ishta smirks, giving you a look.

“You’ll be fine. Besides, if anyone stares for too long, the guys will probably scare them off— if they are anything like Johnny describes.”

And so, you step hesitantly into the grungy spot, thinking of what shitty liquor you need to get you through the night.

The bar is dim, louder than you expected, the scent of stale beer and fried food heavy in the air. Ishta leads the way with her usual confidence, weaving through the mismatched tables and chairs. You follow, heels catching on the sticky floor, your stomach tightening as she heads toward a table in the back.

That’s when you see it: the large black hoodie. The person wearing it is turned away, broad shoulders hunched slightly. Something about the way they hold themselves makes your chest tighten. You tell yourself it can’t possibly be him. The odds are ridiculous, almost laughable.

And yet, your feet falter.

Johnny spots Ishta first, lighting up with a grin so wide it makes his eyes crease at the corners, laughter lines deepening across his face. There’s a boyish enthusiasm in the way he waves her over, unrestrained and unabashed, like a pet spotting its owner after a long day apart.

You remember her mentioning once, in passing, that he was born the year of the dog. It’s funny how fitting that feels now. Loyal, eager, a little too earnest. He all but bounces out of his seat, the movement causing a ripple of attention to shift across the table.

The ridiculously pretty man seated next to him glances up first, his expression brightening with easy charm. Across from him, an older man with a beard you could only describe as unnecessarily dramatic turns and nods politely.

Then, the hoodie moves. Your stomach plummets.

Simon.

His expression is unreadable, but the sight of him freezes you in place, and before you realize it, you’re standing there looking like a deer caught in headlights. The rest of the table follows his gaze, looking at you with various degrees of curiosity.

Ishta grabs your arm.

“Oh my God. Girl, is that your man? What’s wrong? You can’t back away now!”

She says in a low voice, dragging you forward before you can recover.

“That is not my man,”

You hiss back, but it does nothing to stop her relentless pull.

Johnny grins as you both approach, his voice warm and thick with his accent.

“Almost scared her off, Ghost.”

Ghost?

Your eyes flick to Simon. His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say a word.

Johnny, takes over the introductions.

“This is Simon. Don’t mind him, wasn’t properly socialized as a bairn.”

There’s some shifting around as the group makes room. To your dismay, Simon stays tucked into one side of the booth, leaving Kyle and Price to scoot out. They pull over chairs from a nearby empty table, and you find yourself awkwardly squeezed beside Simon while Ishta takes the seat across from you.

“Finally nice to put a name to the face.”

Ishta beams at Simon, and you can see the faint flicker of amusement in his eyes, though he doesn’t respond. She laughs when Johnny makes a confused face, giving a brief rundown to the table.

“She says you haven't seen each other since that incident.”

Ishta waves her glass in Simon's direction.

Simon leans back in his seat, mask still up.

“Avoids me like the plague, she does. Must’ve left quite the impression.”

Kyle snorts, leaning forward with an amused grin.

“That’s just his thing. Simon’s got a talent for being a nuisance, don’t you, mate? Knows exactly how to make people’s lives hell.”

“Only when they deserve it.”

Simon replies smoothly.

The table chuckles, but you stay quiet. His knee bumps yours under the table and you shoot him a sharp glance. He doesn’t even look your way, focused instead on swirling his drink he hasn't touched. You drink more than you probably should, hoping it’ll dull the awkwardness.

Thankfully, the rest of the table carries on without issue, their conversation flowing easily.

“Military, huh?”

You ask eventually, your voice quieter than intended.

Simon doesn’t look at you, but Johnny leans in with a grin.

“Yeah, we're stationed here for a while, so get used to seeing my handsome face around.”

The ease in his tone does little to settle the tension twisting in your chest. Simon doesn’t so much as flinch, remaining a stoic, unreadable presence. His silence feels deliberate, heavy, but Johnny’s brightness seems determined to lighten the mood.

“Maybe you’ll even get used to this one,”

Johnny adds playfully.

“Though I wouldn’t hold your breath. He’s got the personality of wet cement.”

That makes you laugh a little, along with the rest of the table. Younod toward Simon.

“So… Ghost. That’s a call sign?”

Simon hums, noncommittal, leaving Johnny to fill the silence.

“Wish I got something cool like that,”

Johnny says, shooting Simon a look that’s both teasing and fond.

“Guess he earned it, scary bastard.”

You glance at Simon again. His face gives nothing away.

Ishta leans over and whispers something into Johnny’s ear, her lips brushing against his ear with a playful familiarity. Whatever she says prompts a crooked grin to spread across his face, his blue eyes lighting up with mischief.

The two of them fall into their own little world, lovebirds whispering and laughing softly, entirely lost to anyone else at the table. Their giddy exchange contrasts sharply with the tension simmering between you and Simon.

You shift in your seat, feeling the press of his knee against yours again. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but the contact makes your pulse quicken. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, wondering if it’s intentional. If he notices your reaction, he doesn’t show it.

Across the table, Price and Kyle keep the conversation flowing, their camaraderie effortless. You envy the ease they seem to find in this dynamic, the sense of belonging that eludes you in this moment.

Eventually, you decide to call it a night.

“Think I’ll head out, guys.”

You say, grabbing your bag. You glance toward Ishta, but she’s too busy twirling a strand of Johnny’s hair between her fingers, practically sitting in his lap.

Kyle stands, reaching for his jacket.

“Want me to walk you home, love?”

Before you can answer, Price butts in.

“Think Simon’s closer. Said you're neighbors, right?”

Your mouth goes dry.

“Oh, uh. Yeah.”

“He'll take you home. Don't need Kyle chasing up your dress.”

Simon finally looks at you, dark eyes unreadable. Without another word, he gets up.

***

The train ride back is painfully silent, tension coiling thick between you. Simon doesn’t make small talk, doesn’t fill the awkward space with meaningless words, and you can’t decide if you’re grateful or annoyed.

When you finally reach your apartment, you stop at the door, fumbling with your keys. You unlock it and step inside, turning to offer a polite, “Goodnight.”

Before you can close the door, Simon’s boot wedges into the frame.

“No kiss goodnight?”

He murmurs, pulling down his mask, voice low.

“Do you always have to be like this?”

You mumble, leaning forward and tilting your head up.

“You like it.”

He replies, pressing his scarred lips against your glossed ones.

The kiss lingers in your mind longer than it lasts, the warmth still spreading through your limbs. He pulls away, slipping his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. You stand with the door still open,

“Ok, well, goodnigh-”

“Not gonna invite me in for a drink?”

The way he says it—like he’s giving you the option, but he knows exactly how this game goes—brings a rush of heat to your cheeks.You hesitate for a moment, the weight of the night pressing down on you, but it hits you then—you’ve been waiting for him to make this move. Simon knows exactly how to push just enough, always teetering on the line between being too much and just enough.

You tilt your head, playing the game, your voice teasing.

“I don’t believe in letting strangers into my place, Ghost.”

His jaw tightens at the name, a flash of something flickering behind his eyes, but he recovers quickly, scanning your face with a quiet intensity.

“Hit your head, angel? The name’s Simon, remember?”

“Hmm,”

You cock your head, a playful smirk curling on your lips as you tease,

“Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

Simon’s expression shifts, eyes narrowing just a fraction as his lips curl into a grin.

“No? Thought you’d remember it with how many times you say it when I’ve got you bent over that couch.”

“Simon!”

You gasp with a smile.

“Glad to see your memories back, love. Had me worried there for a moment.”

His voice drips with smug satisfaction, fingers creeping around your waist as you step backward into your apartment. His movements mirror yours, closing the distance, the same familiar rhythm between you two. Except this time, the dance ends in your bed, bathed in silvery moonlight that filters through the windows, casting shadows and soft glimmers over the room.

What he says to you in that space, the things he says are as depraved as they are tender, sinful words laced with something softer, gentler. And in that moment, you realize they’re the sweetest things Simon is capable of offering.

Lying on his chest, you let your thoughts drift, his sparse chest hair tickling the side of your face. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat drums against your ear as your fingers trace lazy circles on his skin. His hand mirrors yours, gently skimming the small of your back in slow, soothing motions.

You enjoy these moments just aas much as the more heated ones—maybe more. They feel almost domestic, like peeking through the keyhole of something you tell yourself you can’t have. But for now, it’s enough. It fills that quiet loneliness you feel some days.

Simon presses a soft kiss to the crown of your head, his lips lingering there for a beat longer than you expect. It feels like him savoring the closeness he so rarely allows himself.

“Mind if I sleep here tonight?”

His voice low and casual.

Your body goes stiff before you can stop it, and his hand on your back stills.

“Oh,”

You say, forcing a laugh that cracks at the edges.

“Didn’t think you’d grown tired of your bachelor setup. What happened? Mattress on the floor finally giving up on you?”

Simon hums, unbothered, his fingers resuming their lazy path.

“Figured I’d upgrade. You offering?”

Your heart stutters in your chest, and you sit up quickly, putting a small but deliberate distance between you.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He doesn’t move, watching you with hooded eyes, his expression calm, unreadable.

“Why not? Thought we were comfortable now.”

His tone is deceptively light, but you can hear the challenge beneath it.

“I don’t sleep well with someone else in the bed,” You say, crossing your arms, covering your bare chest.

“It’s just a thing—I’m used to having my space.”

“Space, huh?”

He sits up and leans back against the wall, hands clasped behind his head, looking entirely too at ease.

“Didn’t seem to need space a few minutes ago, angel.”

You frown, heat rising to your face.

“That’s different. Sleeping is… it’s personal.”

He smirks, tilting his head slightly.

“And what we just did isn’t?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying to keep your irritation in check.

“You know what I mean, Simon.”

“Not sure I do,”

His tone is playful, but there’s a stubborn edge to it now.

“Seems to me like you’re just makin’ excuses.”

“I’m not.”

The words come out sharper than you intended. You sigh, running a hand through his short hair, an apology of sorts.

“It’s just… I’m not ready for that.”

“A lil sleepover?”

He tilts his head. Before you can respond, he grabs your face with one hand, his fingers pressing against your cheeks to make your lips pout.

You yank your head away, sucking your teeth in frustration.

“You’re impossible.”

He grins, leaning back against the wall like he’s won something.

“Am I? Or are you just makin’ this harder than it needs to be?”

“Simon,”

You snap,

“It’s not about being hard or easy. It’s about boundaries. Respecting them.”

“Boundaries?”

He raises an eyebrow, the smirk slipping just slightly.

“Since when have we had those?”

Never, you think to yourself. It's a little distressing if you think about it too long, letting a man have such sway on you.

He pulls you closer, his thick arms wrapping around you with an ease that feels as natural as it is intrusive. You don’t resist, though. Instead, your fingers trace the inked lines on his forearm, a distraction, an excuse not to look him in the eye.

“Think you got one more in you?”

His voice is low, dipping into something softer, coaxing.

“I’ll be out your hair after that.”

You can’t help the faint smile that tugs at your lips, even though you hate yourself for giving in so easily. It’s always like this with him—pushing, pulling, finding that sliver of space where you’re weak enough to let him in.

“Yeah,”

You murmur, leaning just slightly into his touch,

“Think I do.”

His lips curve into a grin, satisfied, but he doesn’t say anything more. Instead, he pulls you into his lap. And just like always, he gets exactly what he wants.

Prev | Next

[sirxlla]

You Randomly Get Kidnapped but You Can Handle Yourself (Batboys)

(Requested by @nesting-dreams ily sm thank you for all the ideas/prompts xxx)

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Dick: He was never one to have or tell you what you could and couldn't do. For you, you wanted to work a job like a regular person even though he said he would financially support you. You didn't want to feel like you were mooching off of him.

So as unfortunate as it was you were trying to get in your vehicle after working a really long shift at the hospital while on the phone with Dick, a man came up behind you and they were very swiftly beaten with a metal waterbottle.

Dick was obviously very worried cause of what he heard and he was already patroling the area which meant he very swiftly came to you. You were sat ontop of the man, his arms pinned under your knees as you brutally smacked him over and over with a waterbottle.

"You wanna kidnap people in the middle of the night, You Little Shit?!" You were yelling.

Nightwing had to pull you off of the man noticing the damage you did, it took everything for Dick not to laugh at this man. He got beat up by a tired nurse with a fuckin waterbottle, needless to say he was proud and the man was swiftly arrested. The pair of you went home to have a well deserved nap.

Jason: Being the man he is he decided that it was a fantastic idea to give you a very strong tazer for your birthday because he thought you might need it and you really wanted one.

"I hope someone would, I'll taze their dick off!" You waved the uncharged tazer around very happy about the gift.

"You'll taze their dick off?" He laughed as he appreciated your enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, when you hope for something bad to happen it usually brings bad things around, you we're trying to get into the apartment with Jason was on the other side which of course the dumb ass trying to kidnap you didn't realize that.

By the time Jason get out there you were very clearly tasing this mother fucker in the balls. The man was groaning in very obvious pain, a shot of electricity to the family jewels didn't feel very good.

"You wanna go again, Asshole? You want me to taze you in the mouth, I'm sure that shit hurts just as much."

"I think you got him, Babygirl." He was smiling with full pride. He knew you would never use the taser without knowing 100% that you could do it without getting hurt and you very successfully did.

The man was left there and Jason brought you back inside, put your tazer back on the charger and then showed you all the ways he was very proud of you.

Bruce: He really didn't want you to have any sort of self-defense tool because he knew that if you fought back the likelihood that they would hurt you is extremely higher.

Naturally, you being you you bought a little bracelet that if you press it then it makes a very loud noise which can hurt whoever's ears you're pointing it at.

Another feature on there is that it sent him your location which was probably something that he would have been okay with if that's all it did but alas it was not.

From sparring with Bruce you knew a lot and this asshole pissed you off, trying to kidnap a woman while she was pumping gas? "I think the fuck not."

You had very promptly pushed the button and cupped it against the man's ear which caused him to get disoriented and fall flat on his stupid face.

"That's why you don't mess with girls at the gaspump! Suck my metaphorical dick, Motherfucker!" You would think that this was a Fortnite game with the way that you were acting, to anyone else it would have been the funniest thing ever but of course Bruce doesn't have the biggest sense of humor.

He thought what you were doing was reckless and stupid, you should have gotten your car and left. Bruce proceeded to lecture you the entire night about exactly what you should have done and why it was dangerous and how you're lucky that it didn't turn out worse than it was.

"We don't take pride when we hurt someone and we sure as hell don't gloat. What we're you thinking? He couldve got up. That was reckless."

Tim: Tim craved coffee like it was some sort of drug needing to be injected into jis veins and you really really loved the little muffins the coffee shop had. You got up early in the morning and we're making your way to the coffee shop.

You figured out you were being followed quite quickly so of course the only thing you had in your bag was your wallet and maybe a few pens. Nothing the regular person would think would be overly useful in a situation like this.

The pen was useful though if you used it right, it was swiftly brought between your fingers, you texted Tim you were being followed. He very promptly shot out of bed to protect you, throwing on whatever close were scattered around the messy bedroom.

Once he found you, you were leturing the man on all the places you could stick the pen. The man was on the ground pinned to the floor. None of the Batboys were ever gonna let their woman go out of sight without some sorta training.

"I could stick this in your jugular, if you'd like. I could gove you the choice you were never gonna give me."

"You could stick it in his eye, its less lethal and could be considered an accident." Tim chimed in with a smile, the smile on Tim's face was quickly matched by yours.

The man underneath you was panicking because for all he knew you two were complete psychopaths considering jow many Gotham has. He started begging for you to let him go, You got off him while clicking the pen which made him run off like a little crybaby.

Tim and you walked hand and hand to the coffee shop like nothing ever happened. You both knew the pen wasn't what scared him if was your confidence and the way you spouted things off like a crazy person.

Damian: Damian was very much his father's son and he would do the same psychotics weird ass shit that Bruce did. The only difference was he asked you and you very clearly said no to a tracking device being put in you but that did not stop him from doing it and he did it very easily without you noticing.

Of course he didn't know anything was wrong until he noticed that you're tracking device really didn't move too much. He was kinda worried but it was instantly interrupted.

The phone rang and it was a guy calling for ransom while a guy in the background argued with you and said something about you stabbing him in the ass.

"We want a million." The man said off the bat.

"That's all your gonna ask for?!" Then there was the sound of the phone hitting the floor while you beat the shit out of them with a chair leg.

"You should really have better quality shit if you're gonna kidnap someone!" You yelled while the two men grunted on the floor, the first one had had the chair smashed into his back and this one was being wacked with a chair leg.

Damian showed up in regular clothes, he could tell by the phone call you didn't need any help.

"How the fuck did you know where I am?" You asked with clear suspicion and irritation.

"I traced the cell phone call." He lied very easily but there was something off and you could tell. He always kind of scratched his chin when he told you a lie and he had a shitty poker face.

"You put a tracker in me?! When we get home, you are cutting it out. I dont care that you track me but I'd rather not have a weird piece of metal in my body, Damian! I already have this stupid birth control for you, but at least that shit's been tested."

He knew that there was no point in fighting with you so therefore when the both of you got home, he cut it out and he stitched it back up and did everything he could to apologize without actually saying the words. You wore tracking bracelet from then on, a lot less invasive of the body.

Damian definitely was left apologizing over that for months cause he knew he betrayed your wishes and your trust. It was flowers, jewlery, gifts galore. Damian was never good with his words, you knew he was sorry but you wanted him to say it. Once he did the tension between the two of you quickly evaporated into thin air.

-> Masterlist <-

-> Send me prompts if you'd like <-

[bingbongsupremacy]

Surprise Boyfriend

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Plus size reader

Warning: Cursing, mentions that reader is plus size but doesn't emphasises, insecurities

Summary: You're in love with Eddie but he doesn't like you back. Right? You're just friends. That's why it's so surprising when he asks to meet your parents.

*Not Proof Read*

□□□□□□□□

I’m not sure when things started to change between Eddie and me. We've been friends for a while, hanging out after school, talking about everything from Dungeons & Dragons to heavy metal. We joke around, complain about the crazy world around us, and escape to our own little bubble where things just make sense. But lately? It feels different.

Eddie’s always been a little flirty with me. It's just his nature. He’s got that sarcastic charm that comes with being an all-around badass—a wild, untamed guy that everyone notices. His long, messy hair, the leather jacket he always wears, his constant rock ‘n’ roll vibe, and, of course, the undeniable smirk that’s always on his face. I never really thought much of it. We’re friends. He’s just Eddie being Eddie. But now? I’m starting to wonder if there’s more to it.

The way he looks at me sometimes. The way his arm casually drapes around my shoulders when we sit close. The way he holds my hand, like it’s something natural, like we’ve been doing it forever.

But then I remember—Eddie’s the kind of guy who’s into wild, pretty girls. Not… well, not me. I’m not thin, I’m not what everyone expects. I’ve got extra weight, and I always feel like I’m the last person someone like Eddie would ever want to date. He’s got a reputation to uphold, after all, and I’m just his friend. Nothing more.

It’s a Saturday, and we’re lying on Eddie’s bed again, watching one of those cheesy 80s slasher flicks. We’ve been here for hours, the room filled with the scent of old pizza and the faint smell of smoke from the joint we shared earlier. Eddie’s strumming his guitar quietly in the corner, the soft music blending with the sounds of the TV. He’s so comfortable here, and for the first time in a long while, I feel relaxed too.

"So..." Eddie glances over at me, his eyes mischievous. “When am I gonna meet your parents?”

My heart skips a beat, and I turn to face him, unsure of what he’s getting at. “What?” I ask, the word coming out a little more confused than I intended.

“You know,” he says, still grinning. “I feel like I’ve spent enough time with you, your friends, and your—well, your extended family. What about the folks? When do I get to meet them?”

I blink, unsure if he’s joking or being serious. “Eddie, what the hell? Why would you need to meet my parents?”

He sits up, running a hand through his messy hair, his expression turning slightly more serious, but there’s still a playful edge to it. “Because, Y/N, I’m your boyfriend.”

I laugh a little, but then I catch the look in his eyes. He’s not joking. Or at least, he doesn’t seem to think he’s joking. My breath catches in my throat. “Boyfriend?” I repeat, barely able to hide the confusion in my voice.

Eddie chuckles softly, shaking his head. “Y/N, come on. We’ve been going on dates for months. I even took you to that picnic last weekend, remember? We smoked a little weed, and I bought you dinner afterward. That’s a date, sweetheart. Plus I invite you to my shows and then dinner afterward. I consider that a date.”

I swallow hard. Oh god. I didn’t realize that’s what that was. I thought we were just hanging out, just… being us. I mean, Eddie’s invited people to see his band before, so I just assumed this was another one of those things. He’s always friendly to everyone. And yeah, we’ve shared some quiet moments together, but I never thought it meant what he clearly thinks it does.

“But you invite everyone to your shows, Eddie,” I say, trying to explain myself, my voice trembling a little. “I thought you were just being nice, like you always are. Like, friendly Eddie.”

He narrows his eyes at me, leaning in a little closer. “I’m always nice, sure. But I don't pay for everyone's dinner. Being nice isn't the same thing as asking someone on a date, is it?” He gives me a pointed look, clearly a little frustrated.

I chew on my lip, still unsure of what I’m missing. “I don’t know, Eddie,” I say quietly. “I just thought… we were friends.”

He grins, his usual cocky charm returning. “I thought we were more than that. I mean, come on. We’ve been holding hands, sharing this bed, watching movies together. You’re practically my girlfriend without all the labels.”

I feel a warmth spread across my cheeks as I glance down at my hands. He’s right—we’ve been close. Really close. But I never thought of it in those terms. I’m not used to being the girl who gets that kind of attention. Especially not from someone like Eddie.

“I don’t know what to say,” I whisper. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. I didn’t think you wanted to be with me.”

Eddie gently takes my hand, squeezing it softly. “Why wouldn’t I want to be with you? You’re incredible. You’ve been there for me, Y/N. You come to all my shows, you cheer me on like you’re my biggest fan. You support me—like a girlfriend would. I thought you knew.”

I feel my heart pounding in my chest. Does he really feel that way about me?

The weight of his words settles on me, and I begin to understand. He’s been there for me too, in his own way. He’s always included me, always been there to make me laugh, always made sure I felt important. I start to realize that maybe I’ve been blind to what’s been right in front of me this whole time.

“We’ve been hanging out so much,” I say, a little embarrassed, “I just thought it was normal. I mean, I never thought you were asking me out. I thought you were just… being Eddie.”

Eddie smiles, the tenderness in his eyes making my chest tighten. “I get it,” he says. “But I’ve been asking you out, Y/N. We’ve been going on dates. I don’t do this with anyone else, you know. It’s always been you.”

I nod, trying to process everything. The hand-holding, the moments when he pulls me closer when we’re sitting next to each other, the way he makes sure I’m always part of whatever he’s doing. He’s been showing me, in his own way, that he cares.

“You’re right,” I whisper, my voice barely audible. “I just… I didn’t know. I didn’t realize.”

Eddie brushes a lock of hair behind my ear, his touch gentle, and I can’t help but melt into it. “Well, now you do,” he says softly. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

I smile, feeling something shift between us. Maybe I’ve been blind to it all along. Maybe I was the one who didn’t see what was right there in front of me. But now I do. And somehow, knowing that Eddie really does want to be with me makes everything feel right.

As Eddie leans back, his arm sliding across my shoulders, I feel like maybe—just maybe—I’m finally seeing things clearly. And I can’t help but wonder what the next step for us is.

[mieeaahhh]

What I think the all for the game characters favourite Christmas presents were

(If the title doesn’t make sense keep it to yourself or I’ll crash out)

Neil Josten

Literally every present he got is his favourite one

He’s just happy to spend Christmas in a warm house with people he loves for once

Andrew Minyard

He wont tell anyone which present is his favourite but it’s one of the adult Lego sets of a car

It was from Aaron

Aaron Minyard

That one jellycat of an angry turtle

He got it from Katelyn but her cheerleader friends helped pick it out

He also got a blue stationary set with a matching pencil case that he really likes because before he was just using whatever pen he found lying around

Andrew got his the stationery set

Nicky Hemmick

His favourite present technically isn’t a present but on Christmas Eve Erik sent him a photo of his plane ticket to America

Erik bought them both gingerbread houses to make together

Kevin Day

He got a pair of noise cancellation headphones from Abby because the ones he normally wears don’t work very well

Renee Walker

She recently picked up making jewellery as a hobby so her favourite present was a cute jewellery making kit from Dan

She used it to make everyone bracelets

Seth Gordan

He got a packet of guitar picks with cool designs on them from Allison because he found his old guitar and started playing again

(I have a headcannon he’s very musical talented)

Dan Wilds

A pair of heels that are really expensive and she’s wanted really badly for yeeeaaaarrrsss

Her old work sisters all pitched in and bought them for her

Allison Reynolds

Wymack and Abby bought her a Pandora bracelet and got all the foxes to buy her a charm each for it

Her favourite charm is from Neil and it’s a little rose gold fox

Matt Boyd

Dan bought him a Halloween build a bear and like four different punk outfits for it

It’s his son, he BIRTHED that bear and he is it’s FATHER.

It’s called bearbear

Jean Moreau

One of those teddys you put in the microwave and heat up

It’s a baby blue rabbit and it helps him sleep when he’s having bad nights

Cat and Laila bought it for him

He also got the first Christmas jumper he’s had since he was fourteen from Cody and he didn’t take it off for like two days

Jeremy Knox

A dog

Cat, Laila and Jean surprised his with a golden retriever puppy after all the presents were open

He cried real tears and didn’t put the puppy down the entire night

It’s obviously called barkbark von barkenstien ii

Katelyn Mackenzie

She got a hamster from her sister

The hamster and Aaron have beef

It’s called Patrick

Catalina ‘Cat’ Alvarez

A knitted jumper with a picture of a cat riding a motorbike

She thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

It was from Jean

Laila Dermott

Lego bouquet she got from cat

They both built it together and nearly lost their minds

She also loves a salvanian family keychain she got from Xavier

(I have a headcannon she collects salvanian family’s)

[eatmycodbetty]

Lockwood Iron Trio Holidays Headcanons...

I know nobody asked for this. And I KNOW I should be working on the third chapter of "You Again"...but the holidays have been busy and you all deserve something for the wait.

Take this hc list for the iron trio during christmas times. All just sfw fluffy goodness to appease the soul :p (plus some x reader for shits n gigs xx)

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Anthony Lockwood:

He isn't too used to being warm with others, but over the years he has gotten quite festive

The holidays tend to remind him the most that he does have a family, so it's a treasured time for him.

He has this one Christmas sweater that he wears the moment December rolls around that George gifted him one year.

Over the years Lucy and George have gifted him more sweaters so he doesn't wear that single one out, but he still tends to wear that one the most. He won't wear it for jobs, but at the house and off the record it's all he CAN wear it seems.

He will help to purchase decorations, but Lucy and George are really the ones to choose what is bought. He quietly enjoys this, they get really excited about which colors and motifs they should use for the year.

He'll help get out the tree and decorate the outside of the house, but the other two fuss too much about the details for him to worry about anything else.

He likes seeing their decorations, it makes him remember that there's other people in this house. He enjoys the comfort in knowing he's not alone and surrounded by people he truly cares about.

He will keep pretending to hate decorating just to see reminders of them dotted around the place.

Loves reindeer. Can't explain why, but he tends to have reindeer on any festive stuff he uses. That sweater he loves so much? You better believe it has a reindeer pattern on it. Bedsheets, mugs, slippers, anything- reindeer.

Favorite Christmas story? Rudolph. It's one of those pieces of nostalgia that doesn't make him sad, so he revels in the comfort of the oddly heartwarming story.

Even when he's wearing his suit out, he has Christmas socks on underneath TRUST

x gn!reader: He would stop at nothing to keep you warm. Even when you're just fine. Getting you a blanket, a jacket, HIS jacket, any warm drink your heart desires. He does it subconsciously but also he doesn't ever want you to be uncomfortable.

"No, no. I couldn't bear it if you caught a cold. I will be fine, I promise...just please put on the jacket, it is absolutely frigid."

Lucy Carlyle:

Loves to decorate with George (and annoy him because he can be a bit of a stickler when it comes down to it)

She likes to make little arts and crafts for the house and associates.

Little cards and the like are given throughout December whenever she feels like it. Kind of scrapbook-like and decorated well.

She goes to charity shops for SURE.

Little trinkets or dumb things will make their way onto George or Lockwood's desk with a little tinseled bow and notecard at random.

She is the least festive of the three, but at some point in their relationship she got comfortable with showing them that she does care during the holidays, because she tends to forget to say it most of the other time.

Her favorite holiday motif is a snowflake. Not because it is sensitive, but each one is so unique and pretty.

It's a nice reminder that there are natural and pretty things outside of the Problem.

She has a snowflake necklace that she rubs when nervous around the holidays.

Norrie gave it to her, and she stubbornly refuses to wear any other piece of jewelry during the colder months.

It's a simple silver charm, kind of like a comforting safety ward.

x gn!reader: She loves to go out and watch the lights that people put up. Something about the community aspect of everyone decorating their yards is admirable, and so she likes to be reminded of the lighter aspects of humanity. Long walks around London to see the lights whilst huddled together riddle your December.

"I wonder if they know that a few of their bulbs are out...OI! Where did your hand go??? It's too cold for you to escape me, come here!"

George Karim:

Will be way too serious about the Christmas dinner.

Like he HAS to make a great feast and it WILL taste amazing.

He would love if everyone helped out, but to be very honest anyone else in the kitchen tends to stress him out, so he's fine being the food-making freak each December.

Helps Lucy decorate, as he has done it for years before she came along and knows where to put things that go well with the house.

He likes the differences in their decorations, she makes it more fun rather than bare minimum decorating like he does.

He has kind of been forced to have Christmas spirit being the only one living with Lockwood for so many years, as having something lighter to think about during the winter is essential for working well

He has a family recipe for hot cocoa that he prides himself in, it's one of his secrets that he brings out every year.

There's a list of books that he saves throughout the year to read during the holidays.

Usually folklore and fantasy books that stay in the spirit of things, he tries not to mix work research with personal time if he can.

UNLESS it is about history that is also fun and spirited- he's still a bit of a (loveable) nerd.

x gn!reader: Reading on the sofa over ANYTHING. He loves to get a nice blanket to share and read for hours in each others warmth. His hot cocoa a staple for your reading sessions. Usually you end up with your legs entwined, talking about what you learned from your separate readings, updating each other as you keep going late into the night.

"You know...I really never asked you to hang out with me when I read. However, I really enjoy your company. And your warmth...more than you know. Thank you, y/n.."

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Thank you all for reading!! Let me know if you agree or have anything you can think of to add- I love hearing other people's headcanons for our favorite trio!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Kwanzaa!!

I will be updating with the third chapter as of next week! I have to survive the weekend and I'll be back to writing again. Have a great rest of December!! - ives :p

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I worked at a drugstore in a city with tons of gangs. One woman came in with the teardrops tattooed below her eye and everything, but was trying so hard to help find her dying mother an oxygen tank, and my store didn't sell those. But the specialty pharmaceutical shop in the city did, and I got her an address.

The woman was broke. She had a dead phone that couldn't use GPS as a result. And she had no money for a charger, only for the oxygen tank which was life or death for her mother, nor did she know what type of charger she needed. She was terrified and didn't know what to do, and her mother could barely stand.

I knew tech well. I love tech and so I asked her to show me her car. I found she had the cigarette port type charger, and type C phone charging port. I said to gimme a second, ran inside, and used my scanner to damage out a port charger, plus the cord, which is like $25 right there.

That was against the code of the store. I didn't care. A strong woman who endured gang life was sobbing over hardly being able to care for her dying mother, and I brought the charging equipment out to her car, hooked it all up for her, and told her to go get that oxygen tank.

She was sobbing and hugging me as she loaded up and went off to the store.

And another time, there was a woman, a sex worker, who was in the area but her phone broke. She needed to call for a ride back home, and our store sold burner phones and the ones you could purchase a card for to add minutes to it.

The woman only had enough money for the phone itself but not for the minutes. She was so distraught and stressed, unable to get a hold of anyone otherwise.

I told her to pay what she could for the phone, then I took the minutes card from her. After she purchased the phone, I brought out my card and bought the minutes card for her, handed it over, and told her to be safe.

That woman was sobbing and grateful.

I did the same with a stranger who couldn't buy the last $10 for her kids' Christmas gifts one year.

I helped jump the cars of random folks who broke down in the lot during my shifts.

During my last month working at the store, my mother was preparing to go for open heart surgery. I was going to be on my own for weeks following this, needing to buy my own food and cook it and everything, and I was on a very limited budget at that point. I was terrified of going hungry.

A lady broke down in the lot just a few days before my mother was set to go in, and she was from 11 hours out of state. It was below freezing, she didn't know where she was, and seeing as it was almost midnight, no place was open for repair.

I went out and tried to jump her car. When it wouldn't work, I figured out the alternator was dead and told her to give me a second.

Then I physically pushed her car out of the way and to the side of the store. I was trained to do this in MMA as one of my exercises where I pushed my teacher's pickup around the giant dojo once each month at least for years.

The woman was SO grateful, she got her daughter from an hour north to come get her for the night, but that lady was so thankful she gave me $20.

And I cried. That covered my meals for the next 4 days. I knew I was going to be hungry and struggling to get my food for a while, and this stranger gave me enough to get meals for 4 days worth.

That meant the wold to me, and I meant the world to her.

My first job ever, I barely passed as a man. Living in this area is hard because judgment is rampant, and relentless, especially with such a bigoted populous. And one day I received so much hate and anger from customers that I literally almost walked out of the store and quit right there. I had unsolicited photos taken of me, people pointing and laughing, you name it.

But one lady walked to my register and smiled. "I was at Stonewall! I marched for YOU! I threw bricks FOR YOU!!" she said enthusiastically.

She was a dyke lesbian who was there during the Stonewall riots, and she gave me so much love and acceptance that I broke down sobbing as I walked out from behind the register and hugged her. The kindness of that woman saved me because I didn't think I wanted to make it home that night.

I drove home safely that night, and I'm now 7 years on testosterone with full support of my friends, and I'm planning my last surgery for late 2025. :)

Humanity is a broad experience of emotional connection and happenstance. An opportunity for kindness is an opportunity to change a life for the better in every way.

Be kind to one another. Help that stranger. Feel emotion to the fullest extent, and share that with others.

Be human.

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[malum-forev]

Hi

I loveee the mob!bucky fics

Could you please do bingo- "tending to wounds after a fight"

Thank you

I’m so sorryyy this is so late but…. Here it is!!

Even before he knocked on your door, you knew he was there.

It had been like that ever since the two of you had crossed paths.

One fateful night you’d left the bar late enough for him to be arriving.

All your singing career you’d avoided men like him. The ones who come and buy anything they want, break anything they don’t like and take whatever they think is theirs.

But James Barnes was different.

People at the bar whispered his name like it was illegal to speak of him. But you didn’t care. A transplant from somewhere you wanted to forget, coming to New York City to make a name for yourself. That’s who you were.

You’d see him while you were on stage. He’d always sit at the table in the back, exactly where the light reflectors wouldn’t catch, so you could always see those steel blue eyes perfectly.

Strong, intense, captivating.

James would come in and order a single malt whiskey, stay until the end of your set, then leave. Every day for three months.

But once, he stayed after you’d finished your last song.

“You have quite a voice.” His gravelly voice scared you.

“Thank you.” You held your ground, taking the mic off stage with you as you walked past him.

Bucky let out a dry laugh. No one ignored him.

“I’m-“ he extended his hand but you paid no mind to it. Packing your stuff in the only bag you had and saying goodbye to Marnie, the hostess, on your way out with James hot on your heels.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, then?” James leant on the door of his Rolls Royce, parked just outside the door on a no waiting zone.

“You’re gonna get a ticket if you don’t move.” You mumbled, walking past him and the ego boost he called a car

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Bucky was actually surprised. He leapt from his standing position to rush towards you.

“Have a nice night Mr.Barnt.” You intentionally messed up his name.

“You can call me anything you want, so long as it gets me a date, Doll.” He flashed his award winning smile at you.

“Why?” You finally stopped.

“Why what?”

“Why me? Out of every woman who wants your attention, why me?” You put your hands on your hips.

“You’re the only one who’s been on my mind for months.” He crosses his arms. “Even before you noticed me.”

Your furrowed brows give him a chance to continue.

“The table at the far left is the only one you can focus on.” James holds in a smile.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve tested it. Morning, noon and night that spot gets optimal vision.”

“I’m at the bar most of the day and I’ve never seen you there conducting your so called tests.”

“I’m there before working hours.” He finally graces you with the smile. “I bought the place after I heard you worked there.”

“That’s quite a gesture for a stranger.” You raised your eyebrows.

“You’re not a stranger,” He leans in, his intoxicating perfume entrancing you immediately. “You’re my future wife.”

Now it was your time to laugh.

“Can you make time for your future husband?” He cocks his head, flashing you a dazzling smile. “Say, tomorrow night?”

You were about to say no. You should have said no. But he was so goddamned charming.

“One date, one hour.” You said before turning on your heel and leaving down the block.

One hour turned into six. And one date turned into twenty. He waltzed his way into your heart by exposing his darkest secrets and innermost feelings.

The two of you talked about your past lives and how sometimes you wished you could go back. Be less ambitious and want the simple life back home.

Before you realized it, you were Bucky’s plus one to everything.

But the man who confided in you was completely different to the man he was during his less than desirable 9-5.

So here you were, waiting for him on the couch with Alpine, the cat the two of you had rescued. One of your only companions.

Bucky dropped his keys on the round table at the entrance of his mansion. By the sound of his dragging feet, it was a bad day.

“I can’t do this anymore,” a silent tear slipped your eye as you lifted a trembling hand to his cut cheek.

“I know, baby.” He curled into your touch, not caring if it hurt.

“I can’t watch you get hurt.” You dabbed his bleeding knuckles wit the damp towel you’d prepared.

The exposed skin made your stomach twist but deep down you knew the feeling was there because it was time to let go.

“I’m leaving tomorrow.” You whisper, but you know Bucky doesn’t believe you. You’ve said it three times before and never left.

“Please don’t. I’m going to end it.” He says with empty promises.

“Bucky,” You look into his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too-“

“But,” you interrupt him. “I need to leave.”

His cut eyebrow furrows. The blood traveling down his face travels down his cheek and drops into your hands.

“I’m done.”

It’s the tension in your body that makes Bucky shoot up.

“You can’t be serious.” He loosens his bloody tie. The stains on his dark grey suit shift around as he paces across the living room.

“James,” that’s what makes him scared.

“Baby let’s go back,” he holds your face in his hands. “What about this morning? You were so happy, we’re going to leave here. Remember?”

“You know what I remember? The fact that I spent all day worried sick that you’d end up dead!” You yell. “That today will be the day that Steve comes through that door and tells me it’s all over.”

“I’ll be more careful, I promise.” Bucky follows you through the mansion as you pick up your things. Desperation crawls up his throat.

“I love you!” He yells out as you reach for the door.

“I love you too much to stay.” Your voice trembles but you don’t look back.

“I love you! I love you.” You hear him fall to his knees and that almost stops you. But it’s not enough.

“Please, I love you,” is the last thing you hear him say.

Authors Note: I want to thank all of you for the love and support! I’m sorry I’ve been absent butttt I want to say thank you for the new followers! I’m about to hit 2k! I’m thinking of doing another bingo! Would love suggestions of what you’d like to read.

[awriterinthenight]

"Its a Date"-Jess Mariano

requested: @dearggntlereader

words: 1424

warnings: mentions of an argument (i think that's it

summary: You and Jess were highschool sweethearts who broke up, but now that both of you are in the same town, who knows what will happen.

a/n I gave reader a certain style, since I just felt the whole artist thing kind of gave me an idea as to how she would dress, if you don't like it then just ignore it

Highschool sweethearts always seemed like a doomed relationship to some people. As nice as it was to fall in love young, usually those relationships end up with bad breakups, or even worse marriages. This wasn't always the case, you knew a couple people that married right out of high school and turned out well, but then there was a couple like Lindsey and Dean, which ended horribly.

Your high school sweetheart was Jess Mariano. The two of you had been dating since junior year started, and didn't break up till a couple months after graduation. You ended up breaking up due to the fact that Jess didn't actually graduate, and ended wanting to go to California to find his dad. You tried to be supportive of him, but he never told you when he would return, or if he was repeating senior year, which frustrated you. The two of you ended up in a massive argument, where both of you realized you could no longer be together if you wanted to accomplish your separate goals. You called it quits, and Jess went to California to find his dad, then ended up moving to Philadelphia where he started his publishing house, and wrote his first book. You ended up going to an art school in New York where you became an independent artist, and have been well off since.

Your art has gained a lot of attraction over the past few years. Many people bought your art, had it shown in galleries, and some pieces even won awards. You continued to live in New York, even buying yourself your own studio to paint in.

Never once in the past few years had you heard from Jess or seen him at all, which was probably a good thing. Except sometimes whether or not you made the right decision, was a thought that had been crossing your mind recently. Sometimes it even channeled into your art, but those paintings seemed to always be the best.

Recently you had gotten a call from a publishing house that had art shown in it, alongside other forms of art. Usually you hadn't done anything small or local unless you truly loved the place, but something compelled you to say yes, when the person on the phone asked if you would like to display one of your pieces there. Rarely ever did you donate art unless it was for a good cause, but you gave the piece to the publishing house completely free, which you thought was just because your life had been a bit slow.

The place was having an event to celebrate their growth, which you had been invited to since your art was on display. You agreed to go which was why you were currently getting dressed for this event. This didn't seem formal, but also not super casual. Making it hard to figure out what to wear. But you didn't care and put on a decent enough outfit which was a little black dress, tights, your old leather jacket, and boots. Your style hasn't changed much since you were a teenager (its not a phase mom).

You gave the address to the cab driver when you got into the car. The place was called Truncheon, which you thought was a bit of an odd name. It did make you think of Jess though. It sounded like a name he would pick for something.

When you got out of the car you took a look at the building. It was small, but definitely had its charm. Stepping into the publishing house was like stepping into a new world. Everyone there was unique, some there for the art, the books, or the performances that were going on.

"You must be the artist, Y/N," someone said, making you turn around.

You gave them a small smile, trying to be polite, "Yes, that's me," you said, holding out your hand for him to shake.

"It's very nice to meet you," he told you, shaking your hand before dropping it, "I'm Matthew, the one who contacted you. Me and my friends were so grateful you donated your artwork, it's amazing by the way."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it. All the art here is amazing," I complimented, since I loved the atmosphere of the place, and just its entirety.

"That's amazing, my friends were so excited. You should meet them," he offered, before calling them over, "Hey, Chris, Jess-" he said something else, but you didn't hear it. Surely it couldn't be Jess Jess, probably someone with the same name.

But, you were wrong. It was Jess. You hadn't seen him in years, so you took a moment to get a good look at him. He'd grown a small beard, but still wore his leather jacket.

"Hey," was all you could manage out, as Chris and Matthew gave the two of you a look.

"Hey," he uttered back, not as surprised as you were, which made you suspicious.

A gear started to turn in Matthew's head, "Well, you two seem to know each other, and this is awkward, so we'll let you two catch up," he said, dragging away a protesting Chris.

There was a silence between you two, but you broke it first, "So, you work here now," you tried to make small talk.

He nodded, "Yeah, I actually have a book that I published here two," he told you, his hands in his pockets, something he did when he was nervous.

"I know," you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper.

"You know?" he questioned, a hint of playfulness in his voice, "And here I thought you stopped caring about me years ago."

You had stopped keeping track of where he was after the breakup, but you still kept a tab on him every once in a while. You knew about his book when he published it, you'd heard from an old friend about it, so you made sure to get one when it was first published.

You shrugged slightly, "I mean I didn't totally forget about you. I just, I-," you stammered, "I thought you were still in Stars Hollow," you said, changing the conversation a bit.

"I mean, I was for a little bit, then I came here," he explained, a silence settling over you again.

You both opened your mouths to say something multiple times, but neither of you spoke. After a few minutes of silence Jess finally got the courage to say something.

"You know, I was actually the one who recommended you to Matthew. I saw your art in a magazine not that long ago, I thought you'd like an opportunity to display it here, even though its not one of your fancy galleries," he said, unable to keep himself from going back to his old ways of constantly teasing you.

You smiled, looking at the ground to hide your small blush, "Why didn't you ask me to?" you asked him, "I probably would've said yes in a heartbeat," you confessed.

"I thought you wouldn't want to see or hear from me after all these years. I never went back to Stars Hollow cause I thought you would be there, and I was too scared to face you," he admitted, nervous from what he was saying. Even after all these years, you could still read him like an open book.

"Well, I'm here now and you don't seem that scared," you told him, looking at him through your lashes.

He let out a small chuckle, "I'm shaking with fear actually," he said, making the both of you let out a small laugh, "How long are you in town for?"

"I wasn't leaving till tomorrow morning, but I can stay longer. It's not like I have anywhere to be," you told him.

"Good, then maybe tomorrow I can take you out. Show you around the city," he offered, letting out a shaky breath.

You considered it for a moment before saying, "Maybe, but would this be a just friends thing, or maybe something else," you asked, just making sure.

"I don't know," he said, "What do you want it to be?"

You shrugged, "I mean, a date doesn't sound like the worst thing ever," you admitted.

"Okay," he muttered softly, "It's a date."

Another silence hung around you before he spoke again, "I can give you a tour of the place if you like," he offered, smiling like an idiot.

You nodded, "That sounds fun, lead the way," you said, taking his hand in yours.

Taglist (ask to be added or removed

@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @sarahskywalker-amidala @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs @herondale-lightworm @purplerose291 @mitskiswift99 @crumby-child @rafslytherin @shanksvskidd @yerrmar

[firefly--bright]

What are your Jean headcanons regarding Christmas morning?

i love soft morning hcs HERE WE GO also again i chose to do this in modern au, if you'd like canon au, lmk! also brief warning erm VERY SMALL talks of marraige :3 also ft mama kirstein :3 taglist ; @holding-infinity-and-a-book , @mrsnobodynobody , @hopeless-anti-romantic-again , @jeanscremebrulee , @berrijam , @happxme , @cherrypieyourface , @imgayandshesanime , @moonmalice , @kivernova , @potaho3frog , @xakilicious , @katestrophes , @gojo-ana , @ppushable, @candleohappiness , @zombiefiedskeivy , @1ovede1uxe ❅ masterlist is in pinned post! ❅ enter my taglist! ❅ requests for headcanons are open! ❅

❅ hes a fucking grump. lets get that straight. dont get me wrong, he's more of a morning person than a night one, but that doesnt mean he'll be happy about getting up in the mornings. more so in the winters because he wants to stay warm under the covers with you

❅ and youre wearing his hoodie, right, and his arms are wrapped around you which is his definition of a perfect nap/sleep so excuse him if he wants to stay in bed with you forever.

❅ but! regardless! he wakes up super duper early because he wants to surprise you. he's bought you the perfect gift and of course he's extremely excited about it <3 something you'd been wanting for months but never got around to buying, as a necessity, but also on top of that he'd bought something he knew you'd like. + a note. yeah his love language is gift giving because he's a fucking sap

❅ anyway. he makes you your favourite breakfast because he knows youre tired after the last night YOU WENT TO A CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY WITH UR FRIENDS GUYS its pg 13.... (i mean. i leave it upto your imagination). anyway. he wants to impress you even if youre already his.

❅ but halfway through trying to make pancakes that seem to be sticking to his pan, you wake up because he'd accidentally been making too much noise :') nothing he plans ever goes well but its endearing.

❅ he wishes you a merry christmas and tries to coerce you to go back to bed until he finishes his plans, but you insist on helping him. he lets you. somehow your pancakes dont stick to the pan. "you werent putting enough butter," "i was scared of it burning," he argues, but he notes down the improvements for next time :3

❅ and then he guides you to sit on the floor next to your tiny lil christmas tree that the two of you had decorated, excitedly putting up all the ornaments. a couple of them were given as a housewarming gift by his mother and sister, a couple were a hand-made activity with his neice (air dried clay shaped into gingerbread men with...eery smiles and a couple paper snowflakes) and some given to you by sasha (sanrio themed. because @ppushable made me think about it too much. thx) right.

❅ hes a sucker for tradition. makes you sit down, relax, babe, ive got this, and then turns some christmas music on, sets the tv up so theres a loop of the same fireplace video, sits infront of you criss-crossing his legs.

❅ its perfect. hes perfect, even if he's still in his pyjamas (his cars themed pants, mind you, a secret santa gift from connie) and an old grey hoodie, hair untamed, uncaring of how it was viewed as long as it was seen by you, and he's wearing these fuzzy socks that you had given him last christmas that had surprisingly still held up pretty well. its just the two of you.

❅ anyway. you play rock paper scissors to see who gets to open their gift first. he wins (which is not what he wanted. he loved winning but he wanted to see your reaction first). your smile is worth it, he thinks, because even as youre trying to contain your excitement, its very visible on your face. or maybe he can just read you too well.

❅ you feed him bites of the chocolate chip pancakes as he opens his gift. hes one of those people to both carefully wrap and unwrap presents :3 and he very gently pries the wrapping paper open, finding the exact points you had taped it shut. your work is a little sloppy, but he somehow finds his way around it.

❅ i hc that he cries relatively easily but hates showing it but he also cant hide it from you, so when he opens your gift imagine him immediately teaaring up because he loves it and then hugs you and burries his face in your neck. when you try pulling away he doesnt let you because hes embarassed :') what a sap i hate him

❅ after both your gifts are open and recieved you settle onto the couch with a warm cup of coffee to watch your favourite christmas movies that he claims he doesnt like but come on. look at him. he (begrudingly) puts it on because he wanted the fireplace recording to play for the whole day.

❅ at one point before you start the movies his mom calls to wish you guys a merry christmas!!!! its very cute she's very adorable and tells you that she's made you guys her famous tiramisu and buche de Noel (had to search that one up lol) and tells you that shes packadged and kept it in the fridge especially for you guys for when you visit <3 she tells you that she'd give you the recipie when you do come and then asks jean when hes going to "finally ask you to be a kirstein-" before he takes the phone from you and cuts her off. later on tells you "hey yeah so,,, you dont have to take my last name btw,, like when we do get married... i mean ive thought about it, ofc, and haha... like i'd completely understand if you dont want to take my last name-" and it turns into a cute lil conversation about you guys' future before he spirals more about you taking his name?? he was tweaking over NOTHING

anyway. complimentary moodboard because this is such a cute ask <3

hope you liked this!! v cute ask now i cant stop thinking about it <3

[rivetgoth]

do you have any not so great club nights you wouldn't mind to share? i'm referencing the nowhere post you did

This is such an auspicious ask because I was literally JUST earlier thinking about reblogging that post and sharing one specific story, this gives me an even better avenue to do so :)

One of the most hilariously bad club nights of my life—maybe even the all time worst?—was this night that we went to years back that was the first time I ever did molly lol. It was a newer night and Angel and I had gone once before to feel out the vibe and it had been pretty fun at the time so we thought it would be fun to get a group of friends to all go to the next one. The theme was gonna be medical kink which alllll of us were into so we were really hype. I had the cutest outfit put together for it; since I’m a puppy I wore my pup gear but I bought a doggy cone online to wear with my gear like I had just gotten surgery, it was really really cute. I’d never done MDMA but at that point basically everyone I knew had and had reported having a great time and so I thought it would be a fun environment to do it.

But dude it was SO bad. From beginning to end. Angel and I bought our tickets in advance but our friends didn’t and we didn’t realize it was FIFTY DOLLARS at the door to get in. For reference the majority of events here range from free to like. $15 max unless there’s also a show or something (there was not). Nobody was there. When we went the first time the VIP tables were packed but this time they were literally completely empty. Music was not lit. Staff was really weirdly rude; I have NEVER been to a club prior to or after that where I felt like I’d be in trouble for being on drugs there lmao. Cheap liquor+mixer drinks were $25 and my friend got fucked over and they accidentally charged her like $60 for a single drink and then told her they couldn’t manually refund her and she’d have to dispute with the bank later. Worst part is that our friends ON ME AND ANGEL’S RECOMMENDATION had invited a group of THEIR friends who had NEVER BEEN TO A GOTH NIGHT BEFORE 😭

Then that same night I found out that molly really, really doesn’t agree with me 🥴 I’ve tried it in better environments and can confidently report this was actually unrelated to the bad vibes of the club itself; it would’ve happened no matter what. It turns out MDMA has the opposite effect on me that it has for others and when I take it everything gets sluggish and slow and I get really introverted and don’t want to be around people, and since I’ve never done this substance before I start freaking out thinking I’m like dying, I’m like in the bathroom with Angel and she’s trying to reassure me I’m fine while I’m there having a panic attack half naked in my puppy gear and cone and this group of people we don’t even know who paid $50 to get in are getting their first ever impression of a goth night this way LMFAO. Angel and I ended up leaving before midnight that night!! That’s how bad it was. We just drove home and spent the rest of the night laying in bed listening to music while I waited for the high to end. It was so terrible in the goofiest way possible. A friend says her most vivid memory of that night was just seeing me in the corner in my cone with my pupils blown out looking like I’m going crazy.

The reality is like, when you go out often you are bound to have bad club nights. And “bad” is very broad here. That might mean the vibe itself is dangerous or weird, it might mean it’s just not very fun, you get into an argument, something out of your control goes wrong… I’ve had club nights where I’ve ended up crying on the smoking patio, where the plumbing system in the building broke down and they had to kick everyone out in the middle of the night with no warning, nights where the vibes were just super off and we left ASAP because it didn’t feel safe, nights where the music is just really not good, where the wrong people show up, where I’ve gotten a migraine out of nowhere… it just comes with putting yourself out there into the world and embracing the multitude of possibilities that comes with being in the nightlife. For every weird / unpleasant night there’s going to be completely transcendent euphoric nights that remind you of what the whole point of being alive is. And best of all, even the bad nights often become funny or memorable or even sweet and nostalgic stories. The night I cried on the smoking patio I remember it was early January and freezing and a stranger let me borrow his jacket. “You look like you need it more than me but you have to promise to give it back.”

[syrupbitee]

their dinamic is messy but caring but idfa about you all at same time it makes me want to explode i want to see more of them siu pls

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again

[sonknuxadow]

NOOOOOO i caved and decided i would just buy the lps from the target website anyway and they decided to go out of stock as i was about to check out. throws up

[keeps-ache]

standing here in my star-patterned bathrobe holding a stylus while inscribing something onto my computer. it's wizard time baby